I can't just... go ahead and hate him every time I feel the urge to. I would like to forgive and forget, honestly. But I can't. No matter what I do, something bad always comes up. And it's disappointing for me, because I'm honestly trying to be a better person in every way. But he makes it so hard. Really. And on top of all that, even my mom makes it harder. Does everybody ever stay in love anymore? Is it this complicated for everyone? I mean, can we even avoid these kinds of feelings? Because I have always thought that we can. But us human beings are so... naive. We believe everything the world tells us to. Sometimes I wish I could be more of a risk taker and forget about the gen flow. But what the hell... planet Earth's just not ready for that. Humanity takes a chance in order to change and we get earthquakes all around the globe.
I know my actions aren't the best example of a quiet life. But at the same time, I know I keep it pretty low-key. Is it because I'm a girl? Or is it because I'm me. I don't know anymore... fuck hatred. It scares the heck out of me. Perhaps I gotta be stronger, I need advice on some stuff that I can't controll. Not even a bit. Not even at all. If my life and dreams could be on a gigantic plasma monitor, or I don't know... a movie theater, I know a couple of persons who'd be pretty mashed up. Honestly. And I hate that because I like to make people happy around me. That's basically my mission in town. But sometimes I'm way too lazy to do something about it. Dude, sometimes I'm empty enough to just not moving. I'm that type of person. I think at a certain point we all are. It all starts when you quit the "bless you" when someone sneezes their heart out.
So what now... wait? Wait for the eternal change or else just die. And I don't mean the funeralish death and all. I mean the living death. The one that makes you cheat on your couple, the one that makes you steal people's credit, the one that gives you envy, dislikes, bad memories, revenge. Let's just stand straight and be more powerful than that. We can make whatever lasts of this world a better place. Starting at NOT hating him. Or her. Anyways, life keeps going and you're fucking missing out.
